


My Screaming Laughter.

by EzraScarlet246



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Cutting, Gen, Hurt, Rape, Self Harm, naruto - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 13:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzraScarlet246/pseuds/EzraScarlet246
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He laughed, because it was all just so funny. They all wanted him dead, and maybe the cuts lining his arms would finally accomplish this. He wanted to cry, but he hadn't been able to squeeze a drop in years. And so he laughed, and laughed, and laughed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He didn't know when it first started. When his thoughts became darker, his shoulders heavier, or his smiles more forced. He can't, for the life of him, remember.  
It all just seemed to come together in a dark, dreary blur, and then all he knew was darkness.

_"We're so proud of you Naruto!"_

_"We love you."_

_"You're our hero!"_

Stop it. Please stop it. Just stop.

He didn't know why it hurt so much. He had deflected the insults for years, all cold stares met with a grin. So why now? Why, when the village finally accepted him, did he suddenly start having doubts. It was as if even though they accepted him, he couldn't accept them. He couldn't accept the offer of free food they extended towards him, or the concerned eye sent his way. Because underneath it all, it had to be lies.

Lies.

Lies.

Lies.

They had to all be waiting in the background, smile up front, and a knife at their back.

He couldn't, just couldn't accept it.

And so, when they arrived at his doorstep, knives in hand, and smiles crazed, he wasn't the least bit surprised. He wasn't surprised when they tore down his door, and set it ablaze. Because he knew humans. Knew that they all had the ability to hate, but most lacked the ability to forgive.

They bashed his head against the wall, not a cry leaving his mouth. Because why would it? Even if he cried out in pain, no one would hear him scream. And so he stayed silent.

A heavy hand came down on his shoulder, shoving him into the floor, and he felt a knife tear at his pants. Shock ran through him, and he fought to get away. But it seemed that the villagers had bought a shinobi with them, and one quite experienced in the arts of sealing. For, lining his arms, wrapping around him in an almost deadly embrace, was a chakra suppression seal.

He laughed at the sight. He laughed as the villagers took turns with him, and laughed when they dumped him onto the ground.

They left him on the ground of his apartment, blood staining his hair, a small pool gathering around him.

"You should just rot" One spat at him, in the middle of tugging his pants back up. "How many times have we done this?" the man said, crouching down, catching Naruto's chin in his hand, and turning his face to face him.

"How many times have we beat on you, and used you as our own personal toy? I don't remember, and I'd bet you don't either. And yet, every single time, you survive. Why is that?"

Naruto stared blankly back at that man. The villager sneered.

"Heh, I think I know why." The man came down to him, his lips brushing against Naruto's ear. "It's because not even Kami wanted you. Not even Satan himself. So live. Live, a miserable, pathetic life, until the day comes that you have atoned for your sins. Until then, ja ne." And then he left, just like that. Not even a glance back in guilt, or hesitation in his step. He just left, after the backs of his fellow villagers. That, more then anything, made Naruto wan't to curl up, and drown.

Was he not worth even that? The backwards glance it took to acknowledge his existence, or the guilt in their eyes. Just something, anything to tell him that they regretted their actions. That they were thankful to him for saving the village. But they denied him even that.

Naruto dragged himself up off the ground, across the room, and to his bathroom. He needed to get cleaned up. He needed to move, and smile, and laugh. Because that was his job, wasn't it? But, as he made to drag himself off of the floor, a kunai caught his eye. Naruto picked it up, almost reverently. Slowly, he tore at his sleeves, the cloth ripping open to reveal tanned, scarred arms. With the kunai in hand, he dug at his skin. Once, twice, another time, another. At first, there was no blood. Soon however, it bubbled to the surface, ran down to his fingertips, and dripped to the ground.

Naruto took in the sight of his blood, his scarred arms, shredded pants, and laughed. He laughed, because it was all just so funny. No one cared, no one loved him, they all wanted him dead, and maybe the cuts lining his arms would actually accomplish this. He wanted to cry, but he hadn't been able to squeeze a drop in years. And so he laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

To soon though, the blood cut off, retreated back into the wound, and the skin stitched back together, leaving another jagged scar where the seams came together. Naruto wanted to curse at the beast sealed into his gut, but instead just sighed, and went about cleaning himself up.

Really, if tomorrow came at all, he hoped it would be better then today.


	2. The Inspection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slanted letters mean it is either a memory, inner though, or there is emphasis on that word.

_"Sasuke!"_

_"Naruto!"_

_An explosion of light erupted through the night, cutting through the darkness, and illuminating the clearing. Two boys were flying towards each other through the air, their arms outstretched, their faces demented. They had done this before. This never ending cycle that refused to release both of them from the clutches of fate. Both boys knew what the outcome of this fight would be, because this fight had already been played out so many times. Or at least, they thought they did. But on this night, a blonde haired boy bordering on the age of seventeen decided enough was enough. He broke out of the chains of fate, and overpowered the raven haired boys own technique._

_The ravens technique burnt out like a dying flame, the sound of birds dissapearing into the night. With a cry that melted into a scream, the blonde haired boy shoved the technique into the ravens chest. With a grunt, the raven was thrown backwards, his body impacting with a sickening thump onto the dirt ground._

_The raven lay their for a second, his breathing labored carrying no desire to stand. A sandaled toe appeared in his vision, and he lifted his head to stare into cerulean blue. The whiskered face surveyed him for a second, before it melted into a sad smile, his hand outstretched._

_"Come home, Sasuke. You've fought enough. Now rest."_

_And just like that, all fight left his body, and his head fell back onto the dirt. A tired, half smile graced his lips, and Sasuke's hand came up to bump Naruto's fist with his own._

_"Okay Naruto. Lets go home"_

_Strong hands lifted him up off the ground and onto a pair of slim, but strong shoulders. At any other time, Sasuke would have protested against being carried. But Naruto had said it was okay for him to rest_

_Sasuke drifted off, lulled to sleep by the steady rhythm of Naruto's steps._

 

* * *

 

Sasuke was slowly but steadily adjusting to life back in Konoha. Though, things had been hard because of all the rebuilding that was going on. Teams, even jounin, were all being assigned to construction work, without pay. Sasuke cursed Pein for destroying the village, because now it meant he was stuck for hours doing construction work. Uchiha's weren't made for construction. Ninja work? Sure. Mass murders? No problem. But construction work? Sasuke had never even touched a hammer before, let alone put together a whole entire house.

 Team Seven had been assigned to helping Yamato with rebuilding all apartments and small businesses. And so it was that Sasuke and Sakura were both leaning casually against the railing of the bridge, listening to the rushing water. Sasuke would have to admit that he was very impressed with how his pink haired teammate had turned out. No longer did she fan girl over him, or punch Naruto for the smallest of mistakes (The exception being when Naruto made a perverted comment.) She had grown as an incredible Kunoichi, and was one of the most respected medical nins, said to be Tsunade reincarnated.

 Sasuke had to admit, while his feelings for the girl were mostly neutral, if he did eventually need to settle down and rebuild his clan, she would be a suitable match. And she wasn't the only one who had changed.

 Naruto trotted towards them, a bounce in his step, but no overly loud greeting. He didn't immediately ask Sakura if she would like to go out with him, and he didn't insult Sasuke the moment they were within earshot. Instead, he simply offered Sakura a soft "Good morning," and gave Sasuke a sarcastic wave, accompanied by a lopsided smile. At first, Sasuke had been shocked at the change in Naruto. However, it seemed that this was simply how he was now, because nobody called him out on it, and simply accepted the new him. Naruto talked a lot less now, though when he did, it was either a light hearted joke, or something that carried considerable weight. He didn't immediately jump at the prospect of fighting someone, and he spent more hours alone.

 Sasuke couldn't really decide if he liked this Naruto, or the younger Naruto better. Sure, this Naruto was a hell of a lot less annoying, and complained a lot less, but the old Naruto was a lot more carefree. This Naruto held himself like a seasoned warrior, just waiting for something to go wrong. The younger Naruto had laughed at the simplest things, and had been so unbelievably innocent and naive. And while these probably weren't very good characteristics for a ninja to have, Sasuke couldn't help but miss them. And when Kakashi suddenly appeared in a cloud of smoke, Sasuke almost wished that Sakura and Naruto would shout at him, just for the sake of nostalgia. Almost.

 However, all Kakashi got were a few angry glares from his pissed off students, which caused him to sweat drop.

 "Maa, sorry kiddies, I just had a meeting with the Hokage that I had to go to."

 Kakashi's students stopped glaring at him, to stare at Kakashi questioningly. They had been with each other for a long time now, and so they all knew when he was lying, or telling the truth.

 "What for Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, her gaze pressing. Their was something about her tone that sounded as if she knew what was going to come out of his mouth next. She looked weary.

 Kakashi's eye held a mocking and teasing edge to them. Immediately, Sasuke knew he wasn't going to like it.

 "You yearly examination is here. You are to report to the Hokages office in five hours, and be prompt!." And then he dissapeared into another cloud of smoke, his declaration still ringing throughout the air.

 Sakura's head slumped, as if defeat. She let out a groan. Naruto walked towards her, and laid a hand on her shoulder.

 "Ah, Sakura-chan, what did Kaka-sensei mean by that?"

 Sakura's just started mumbling to herself, as if she hadn't heard him.

 "Argh, should've known this was coming. Oh but why!? Tch, this is so annoyin-"

 "Ah, Sakura-chan?" Naruto shook her shoulder to regain her attenition. "What was Kaka-sensei talking about?" he repeated.

 Sakura finally stopped mumbling to herself. Instead, she began to pace as she answered his question.

 "Each year, all ninja under the Hokage must be submitted for a full body and mind inspection. It's really just to see how their mental and physical health are doing. We never got ours done because we were always interrupted. The chunin exams, Sasuke's...defection, Naruto's two year trip, and so on and so forth. Tsunade-sama did hint to me that she might be doing ours personally. I was hoping that she was just joking, but I guess..." Sakura trailed off, ringing her hands and mumbling. Sasuke could see why she was so distressed.

 Sure, he had nothing to hide, but that didn't mean he wanted to strip naked in front of the Hokage, and the have some random Yamanaka rustling through his head. However, when Sasuke had been re-emitted into shinobi work after a moths suspension, he had promised to uphold any orders the Hokage gave to him, among other things. He had even signed the deal in blood. With a sigh, Sasuke turned on his heel, and went to make his way home. A choking sound stopped him.

 Sasuke whipped around to the sound of the noise, slightly alarmed. Naruto stood with his hand still outstretched, as if he was still holding Sakura's shoulder. His usually tanned skin had turned pale, and if Sasuke looked close enough, he could catch sight of the tremors running through Naruto's body. If Sasuke didn't know any better, he'd say Naruto looked almost scared.

 "Naruto?" Sasuke said, hesitantly. "Hey, dobe. You alright?"

 Sakura had stopped pacing to survey Naruto. She took in the sight of his pale skin, trembling shoulders, and was immediately at his side, running diagnostic.

 "Where does it hurt? Have you eaten anything that you shouldn't have? Do you have any open wounds that could've gotten infecte-"

 Naruto seemed to almost shrivel at all the questions, and cut her off before she could continue her mother hen-ning

 "I'm fine Sakura. I just...didn't expect this."

 "Naruto." Sakura said reproachingly. "If your sick, you should tell me. I don't care if you've got an ancient demon healing you whenever you get injured, I want to kno-

 "Sakura." Naruto said, this time more firmly. "I'm fine, really. I just need to go home and have a quick rest. I'll see you both later!"

 Naruto took off, his haste unveiling the limp that he must have been hiding. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and it seemed Sakura caught it as well. Her face furrowing in concern, she called after Naruto's retreating back.

 "Hey Naruto, are you sure you're alright? Your limpin-"

 For the fourth time that day, Naruto cut Sakura off.

 "I'm fine Sakura-chan! I'll see you and Sasuke-teme at the old ladies office later. See ya!"

 And before either of them could get another word in, Naruto sprinted off in the direction of his house, the limp now having mysterioulsley dissapeared.

 Sakura and Sasuke caught each others eye, looks of concern adorning their faces.

 What was wrong with Naruto?


	3. Things are getting Complicated.

Naruto didn't know why he was so determined to make it to his house. It wasn't like there was anything in there that could help him. But a destination without a purpose was better than no destination at all.

Naruto hardly even glanced at the charcoal remains of his door, or the trashed state of his house. He passed right by what used to be his table, and into what he had once called his room. Here he paused. A smashed window to his left leaked ice cold air into the room, and a cloud of dust danced across the floor. Every where he looked, destruction was strewn about the room.

"Kage Bunshin." Naruto whispered, breaking the silence. Five dopple gangers of himself appeared next to him, and stared at the destroyed room with the same detached eyes of their creators.

"You know what to do." Naruto told them. With a small nod, the dopple gangers went about the room, and began to clean.

It had become a kind of ritual. The villagers cut into his skin, he heals. They send biting glares his way, he smiles back. They trash his house, he cleans. And that's how it had been for as long as he could remember.

Naruto took a step to his right, and flinches when he feels glass enter his feet. Looking down at his feet, it was to find that he had stood on a picture frame and the glass had entered his foot. And not just any picture. It was his team seven photo,

Crouching down, Naruto removed the photo from the smashed frame, and held it in his hands. Naruto couldn't help the sigh that left his lips as he stared at the photo. Things had been so much better back then. Back then, he still had held onto that childish naivete that thought every story had a happy ending. That no matter how many times he was beaten, spat on...raped, that the sun would always still come out over the horizon, and cut through his gloomy day. That as long as he tried his absolute hardest, things would go his way, and eventually everyone would learn to accept him.

However, time had it's toll on him. Naivete gave way to weariness, love to sadness, and hope to a pessimistic, sarcastic nature that he hated. But he couldn't help it. Because even though he had built up his defenses so high, those glares still gnawed at him. Every good deed he did was met with a glare, any kind word he said, a smack over the head. And so he learnt to say less, laugh less, and to even squash that need to prove himself. His friends all assumed it was him maturing. Little did they know it was simply him giving up on being truly happy. Maybe even life.

With a sigh, Naruto placed the picture on one of the few pieces of furniture that had survived. There was no time to be thinking about that. He had to work out how to keep from getting himself exposed. Only one solution popped into his head.

_"Hey, Kyuubi, heal my scars would you? Oh, and remember that when that Yamanaka comes poking through my head to scare them off, okay?"_

The Kyuubi didn't answer, except for a slight, disgruntled snort. The next thing he knew, a searing was racing up his arm, blood flowing down. Naruto pulled back his sleeve to see the seams of where he had cut himself tearing themselves apart, and healing in a more tidy manner, leaving not even a scar behind. While the process was a little sore, Naruto didn't really care, for obvious reasons. Quickly as possible, Naruto wiped up the blood, and hurled the cloth into the waiting arms of a clone, who immediately went about discarding it.

Leaving his house to the clones, Naruto exited out into the back alley which lead out into the main streets. Naruto walked down the path, and took in the scenery around him. Over there, a bird lay perched on a tree, trying to shake itself free of the rain that was dripping down slowly from the sky. In a corner Naruto saw a dog picking through the trash looking for scraps, and then batted away by an angry salesman. Naruto surveyed all the people all around him, watching their movements, watching every single ruffle of there clothes, searching.

Every time someones sleeve would flap up carelessly, his eyes were immediately drawn to it. His eyes searched over pale, tanned, but hardly ever scarred wrists. He would search through them all, hoping desperately to find someone like himself, so that maybe he wouldn't be so alone. And whenever he did catch sight of a scarred wrist, Naruto's heart would skip a beat, and his eyes would survey the person even more intently than before. How they moved, how they talked, did there smiles seemed strained, did they take extra care to pull there sleeves or shorts lower then needed? All these things he searched for, so that maybe he wouldn't have to be so lonely.

At one point he had thought that he'd found that person in Sasuke. And for a little while, he had. But then Sasuke, like so many others, had ripped out his already fragile heart and trod all over it. And so, even though Sasuke was back in the village and seemed to have no intention of leaving, Naruto held his guard. Walls that hadn't been nearly as thick before Sasuke's defection were thrust between the two of them, and never taken down. And the same was said for every person that considered themselves close to Naruto. They hurt him, and the walls became thicker, shrouding him in a darkness, his hands barely even able to slip through the cracks.

So caught up with his thoughts, Naruto never even noticed that his feet had carried him through the village, up to the Hokage's tower, and into Tsunade's office, where Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi were already waiting for him. It took three angry calls of his name from Sakura and an empty sake bottle thrown by Tsunade to finally regain his attention. With a jerk, and a nervous stare at the broken pieces of ceramic lying on the floor, Naruto gave Tsunade his full and undivided attention. Tsunade gave a grumble, before she went about explaining what would be happening, and then she sent Sakura away with Shizune so that she could get checked up on. To Sakura's great annoyance, it was Ino who was running the checks on their minds, and Sakura and Ino had been having a full on shouting match before Kakashi intervened.

Only then did it finally hit him how dire his situation was. If Tsunade and everyone else found out about his...activities, and about the things that had happened to him, they might declare him mentally unstable, and be taken off shinobi work. Then he'd wouldn't be able to get money for food, clothes, weapons, and he might not be able to buy that house by the outskirts of the village that he yearned after. But not only that, his friends might shun him. They wouldn't talk to him, they'd pierce him with hurtful words, they'd-

"Brat!"

Once again, Naruto was forced to attention by a sake bottle sailing past his face. Naruto looked up to see Tsunade glaring at him, at tick forming on her forehead.

"Hey, Naruto." Sakura said quietly, eyes staring beseechingly at him. "Are you okay?" 

He stared questionably at her for a second, before realizing that it wasn't just the abuse from Tsunade she was asking about.

Sakura had tipped her head back slightly so that she could lock eyes with him. And staring into her emerald green eyes, he wanted to tell her everything. About how the villagers had hurt him, about the horrible things they had done, and how he wished it all to end. He wanted her to hug him, and then he wanted to cry into her shoulder until he could cry no more. But then a vision flashed before his eyes. Instead of her caring, loving eyes, were ones full of hate and revulsion. Her lip was curled in disgust, and biting words left her mouth.

_"What a little slut you are. I bet you enjoyed every second of what you got, you whore."_

And so instead of crashing to his knees and confessing everything to her, Naruto gave her one of his closed eye smiles which he was so good at, and lightly bumped her forehead with his fist.

"Don't worry Sakura. I'm fine, ya know?"

She stared skeptically at him for a second, before with a slight nod, she accepted it.

"Well, me and Sasuke-kun have already done our examinations, so it's just your turn now. Okay?"

Once again, the fear that he had been battling for a while now rose up within him and threatened to burst out. However, all he did was give Sakura a stiff nod, and leave with the male medical nin who was waiting to do his bodily examination.

Naruto could only hope that Kyuubi had done his job properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling, grammar, or any other mistakes you find in there. Microsoft word isn't working at the moment, and I realized that I'm pretty much hopeless without it's auto correct.


	4. The Minds of the Broken.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's minds were different. Some people had minds full of colors, rainbows and waterfalls, while others had musty, dark sewers whose pipes creaked and groaned under their own weight. The mindscape that one had represented their entire being. Each mind had it's own complications, it's own ways of hiding secrets. Which was why he felt no confusion at all upon entering the boys mind because, like he said, everyone's mind was different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slanted words mean it's either a memory, an inner thought, or there is emphasis on that word.

Yamanaka Haru didn't like the look of the boy as he stepped through the door and into his exam room. Haru was a trained specialist in reading not only ones mind, but also ones body language, their behaviors, and so on and so forth. And this boy was covered in suspicion. His shoulders were tense, his jaw set into a grim line, and he kept playing with the hem of his sleeve nervously. His hair poked up in odd angles, as if he had never found the time to comb it, and he seemed to favor one side of his body more than the other. All suspicious signs.

Haru knew who this boy was. He knew about the "creature" that lurked within this boys body. But he couldn't afford to let himself think that way. Mind walks were very intimate things. It was almost as if you were baring someone nude, and reading their soul. So in order to make it seem less revealing to not only for the victim of the mind walk, but also the performer, one was to distance himself from the subject by any means possible.

"Now," Haru said to the boy, "If you could just sit down here please," he indicated the white bed that sat in the corner, "and close your eyes. Don't worry, you might get a bit of a headache, but it will pass."

The boy nodded slowly, eyeing him warily. His fingers kept twitching to where his kunai pouch was. Haru had seen this particular trait in many shinobi who came to see him. Mostly war veterans though. People, who for years, had not had any type of positive contact with humans. And while this boy was no war veteran, he had had many battles, and survived many things, so it wasn't all that far fetched to think that he had developed an evasion to humans. However, at the moment, this boys paranoia was hindering his work.

"Look," Haru said, starting to lose his patience. "How about this. You are allowed to take whatever precautionary means necessary to make sure that I do nothing. Is that alright?"

Once again, the boy said nothing. However, slowly, hesitantly, the boy nodded at him. He summoned three clones, who he then ordered in a quiet whisper to stand guard. The boy then walked over to the bed, and lay on his back.

"Okay Doc," he said, a sly grin adorning his face. "Work your magic."

Haru didn't hesitate upon entering the boys mind. Haru fell through the boys consciousness for what seemed an age. Darkness swepped past him, before, finally, he landed in a dark clearing, hovering just over a vast lake.

Everyone's minds were different. Some people had minds full of colors, rainbows and waterfalls, while others had musty, dark sewers whose pipes creaked and groaned under their own weight. The mindscape that one had represented their entire being. Each mind had it's own complications, it's own ways of hiding secrets. Which was why he felt no confusion at all upon entering the boys mind because, like he said, everyone's mind was different.

Haru surveyed the place that he had fallen into. An inky darkness spread out across the area that surrounded him. White snowflakes fell from the sky, which were then quickly devoured by the lake spreading out around him. The lake was separated into two parts, one side lighter than the other. Haru's hand stretched out to catch a falling snowflake, stopping it before it too hit the lake. Immediately, he was assaulted with images not his own.

_The forest was beautiful this time of year. Birds flew through the sky, their delicate songs whispering on the wind. The trees swayed and bent, a timeless, majestic dance, while the sun hung bright and blinding in the sky. A serene clam had settled over the clearing that he currently sat in, the grass tickling at his toes, and the scent of of water lilies reached his nostrils, fresh, and pure. He threw his hands wide, and twirled around, and around, and around, peals of joyous laughter escaping his mouth. What a beautiful day it was, Naruto thought. What a beautiful day indeed._

The image left his mind as the snowflake melted in his palm, dripping off the edges off his hand, and falling into the lake. Haru blinked, trying to clear the fogginess that pervaded his mind. He didn't quite understand what it was he had just seen, but maybe if he tried again...

Once again, Haru's hand came out to catch one of the few snowflakes floating to the ground.

_Naruto loved the village. They were always so very kind to him. Like when they threw food at him. How very kind of them! They must have known how hungry he was that day. Or when they chased him through back alleys and through streets. They must have realized how lonely he was getting, and decided to play a game of tag with him. Or whenever they were trying to get the bugs that always seemed to be on his skin, and they accidentally hit him instead. But at least they got the bugs off of him, because Naruto hated bugs! What very kind people they all were. Naruto loved them all!_

_Ahhh,_  Haru thought, as once again the snowflake melted and the image left his mind. So that's what the snowflakes represented.

Innocence.

Pure, un-tainted innocence. That human emotion that allowed you to accept or love what adults would otherwise question. It was him before he opened his eyes to the cruelties of the world, before he realized that he was unwanted and unloved, before he knew just how horrible his life actually was. But then, if that was what the snowflakes represented, then that meant that the lake devouring the snowflakes was...

Haru walked over to the lighter side of the lake. Slowly, hesitantly, Haru crouched down to touch the water below him. As he did, ripples spread out across the lake from where his finger had touched, and a brutal assault of what he presumed were memories ripped through his mind.

_No where to run. No where to hide. The street lamps cast ominous shadows onto the ground, highlighting the figures of his pursuers. He knew he had to run. He knew he couldn't, shouldn't stay here. But there was no escape._

Haru tried to pull back away from the lake, so as not to be overwhelmed by the boys negative emotions that were attached to the memories. But it was too late, the scenes in his mind changing rapidly, one after the other.

_He was six, and cold. Snow littered the ground that he lay on, bringing no such warmth to his small body. Naruto watched as the tips of his fingers slowly turned blue, and everything started to go numb. He was so tire-_

_He was eight, eyeing the village from atop the Hokage monument. It was October 9th, a day before the celebration. Naruto watched as the villagers set up the party decorations, painting the streets in a variety of colors. It wasn't fair. He had only wanted to help. So why had they thrown him out with such cold stares? It wasn't fair. What had he ever done to-_

_He was ten, watching the other children play together from his position on the swing. Suddenly, there was a shout, and the blue and red ball that they had been passing around sailed past the girls waiting hands, and at his feet. Everything went silent. Nobody moved. Then, slowly, Naruto bent down to retrieve the ball for them. Maybe if he gave it to them, they'd let him play with them! But just as he was about to pick up the ball, he was shoved out of the way, his butt hitting the ground with a soft 'thud.' The mother who had pushed him quickly picked up the ball and walked away, not even sparing him a backwards glance. Naruto was left to stare after her retreating figur-_

_He was twelve, a day before the graduation exam. Naruto dug at the earth, to make a small, oval hole. In it, he placed the body of a small Kitsune, his best friend. Puncture wounds crusted over with blood, staining his orange body red. The puncture wounds had come from a pitchfork. Naruto replaced the dirt that he had dug up over his friends head, and patted it down carefully._

_"Rest now, my friend."_

_And Naruto wept for all he was worth._

Haru yanked back his arm, stumbling, and nearly falling off of his feet. He hadn't expected such a violent surge of emotions. The force had nearly pulled him off his feet and into the lake itself. But what really scared Haru was that this was only the light side of the lake. He shuddered to think of what lay on the darker side. He didn't want to investigate further. But Haru's job was to investigate the mental stability of his patient. And if he wasn't thorough, then he couldn't say concisely that the patient was mentally stable. He didn't want to, but really, if he wanted to keep his job, then he had too.

Slowly, he turned, and made his way to the darker side of the lake. The deeper side. A hollow scream pervaded the air, the sound full of sadness and anger. The sound tugged at his mind. It was so lonely, so tortuous, so sad. It was a sound that was tainted with both helplessness and weariness. Haru sank to his knees, his whole body shaking. With a last burst of effort, he shoved his hand into the lake, and waited.

_He was thirteen, and scared. Sasuke held him at the neck, and he eyed Sasuke through unkempt bangs. Sasuke's chidori lit his face with an eerie glow, his features demented. A psychotic laugh left his lips, before he plunged forward._

_'Fight, Naruto.' a voice whispered from his mind._

_'But I'm so tired.' he answered back. 'I don't want to fight anymore.'_

_'Dammit Naruto.' the voice came back with a vengeance. 'You don't have to die like this. Move, you idiot, MOVE!'_

_His hand lashed out, twisting Sasuke's hand out of the pathway of his heart. Just in time. Any longer and he would have-_

_He was fifteen. Back in the village barely ten minutes, and already the villagers were trying..."things." He was on his knees, pants down, a searing pain through his back. Jeering laughter reached his ears, but he paid no heed. It didn't matter anywa-_

_Sixteen years of age. An apartment that smelt of mold and urine, and a heroes title to his name. But of course, that didn't matter. Another day, another painful set of flaming hoops suspended over nothingness that he was forced to jump through._

_'Fight it Naruto. You don't need it. You're stronger than this.' And there it was again. That little voice in the back of his head._

_'But you're wrong. I do need this.'_

_And then he drew the blade out across his skin, the blood flowing out of the wound._

"Yagh!" With tremendous effort, he pulled his hand away from the lake, and stumbled as far away as possible. His strangled cry caught in his throat, and he choked on his own bile. After a while, he managed to regain himself.

_"I have to tell Tsunade-sama. This boys mental health is deteriorating quickly, and he needs help ASAP. I have to tell her-"_

A blankness filled his mind, momentarily stunning him. He clutched at his head, trying to ward off the oncoming headache. And then as quickly as it came, it left. Haru blinked once, twice, another time. And then he continued what he was saying before the headache hit.

_'-to tell her that this boy is fit and ready for service. Now all that's needed is a physical and we're done. Finally.'_

Haru was relieved to finally be able to leave the boys mind. He din't know why, but for some reason he felt unnaturally tired and drained. A good rest would serve him well.

Haru put his hand together into the seal to release the jutsu. However, if he had taken just a second to glance behind him, he would've seen the massive cage that was slowly but steadily rising up out of the lake. He would have seen the orange glow that encased the cage. And he would have seen the red, slitted with black eyes that lit up with glee, and the smile that stretched across the face of the fox.

But he didn't look back. And he soon found himself standing once again next to the blonde haired boy who no longer seemed so suspicious.

"Well," Haru said, clapping his hands together, "You seem to be in perfect mental health. Now lets get you in to see lady Tsunade so she can do your physical."

The boy nodded slowly, getting up off of the table, and dispelling his clones. Without any argument, the boy followed obediently after him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Please comment, or kudo's or whatever it is you call it. I'm new to this site, I'm usually on Fanfiction.net, so I dunno. Tell me what you think, and I'll get chapter two up ASAP


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